Audio Clips

Actbadly.wav (111K) Hilary: I want to apologize if I've
Acted badly. Mr. Eldridge: Oh, don't worry. Your acting
will get better. In time. (I use this as my critical error message)

badside.wav (67K) Jeffrey: Are you going to turn around Hilary?
Hilary: No, I can't. This is my good angle. I don't want
to display my bad side. Jeffrey: Well, that would make for
a change, now wouldn't it?

beseen.wav (40K) Hilary: I have to be seen to be believed.
Jeffrey: No argument there, Hilary.

bland.wav (30K) Hilary: You've been steering me around the
station like the bland leading the blind.

catalog.wav (61K) Hilary: I can read Jeffrey's mind of course
but that's not much different from thumbing through a
lingerie catalog.

gifts.wav (72K) Jeffrey: Well, I guess it's all right to tell you Hilary
doesn't possess any special gifts. Hilary: Yes, Jeffrey's a terrible
shopper.

honesty.wav (245K) Hilary: What do we tell the others?
Jeffrey: How 'bout the truth? Hilary: Oh, that's a very dangerous
policy. Once you start telling the truth about one thing then
your bound to tell the truth again and again until you're trapped
in a spider's web of honesty. Jeffrey: Oh, yes you're right.

husband.wav (140K) Euripedes: I am an acolyte in the temple
of your talent. Hilary: Well, and I am . . . Euripedes: The altar
at which I kneel. Jeffrey: Hello Neil, Jeff Singer. Actor ... Husband.

knot.wav (64K) Jeffrey: Sorry dear, but the Reverend did a good
job of tying this knot. Hilary: That's how he makes his living, dear.

mittens.wav (79K) Jeffrey: Well, I guess it's just you and me now
Mittens, huh?

pumpkin.wav (56K) Hilary: Pumpkii-iin!!!!

bluntingenue.wav(275K) Hilary: Who the blazes did the casting
for this thing? Miss Craven?? The Gargoyle?? Who..who
gave out these parts? Celia: Well, Jeffy did. Hilary: Jeffy?
So, it's Jeffy now is it? Jeffrey: Hilary, we still have a murder to
solve. Hilary: Yes. The death of Jeffy, who's thick head was
repeatedly bludgeoned by a blunt ingenue!

weekend.wav (170K) Eugenia: Are you ready Hilary?
Hilary: Jeff was right, I was wrong! Eugenia: I'm sorry ma'am
I thought you were Hilary Booth. (edit) Eugenia: There's a change
in the play. Jeffrey: Yes, there has to be. People don't want comedy
they want tragedy. I mean, Hilary was right. I was wrong.
Eugenia: You know you two kids ought to get away this weekend.

uprising.wav (124K) Jeffrey: All I meant was be my slaves.
Perform what you're feeling. Hilary: Oh! By staging a slave
uprising and hanging you from a potted palm? Paul: Take 27

twoquart.wav (60K) Jeffrey: Hollywood needs some fresh blood.
Hilary: I have a knife. We'll send them two quarts right
after you get dressed.

kissdeth.wav (314K) Jeffrey: Now that's what a real kiss sounds
like, right? Hilary: Sounds more like the kiss of death to me.
Let's see what the situation is here, shall we? I'm your wife,
I find you kissing Charlie Chaplin here. Jeffrey: Charlie Chaplin?
Hilary: The little tramp. It seems to me Jeffrey that there's
a rich tradition which calls for you to be minimally be hemming
and hawing at this moment. Haw away.

morning.wav (53K) Jeffrey: Good morning, darling.
Hilary: Good morning Jeffrey.

myfault.wav (97K) Jeffrey: Oh, this is all my fault.
Betty: How could it possibly be your fault? Jeffrey: I have no idea
but believe me, when she's herself again. It'll be all my fault.

mywife.wav (71K) Betty: What a shrew. Jeffrey: A Viper
Betty: My god Jeffrey: My wife.

thanku.wav (130K) Jeffrey: Thank you. For sticking with me
through the trouble I never would have had if I'd never met you
in the first place. Hilary: Oh, Jeffrey. You say the sweetest things.

toomuch.wav (127K) Celia: Hilary, a little kiss never did anyone
any harm. Hilary: No, No, not like a mis-wired microphone
that sends thousands of kilowatts of ungrounded voltage coursing
through a young actress's body, or have I said too much?

torture.wav (131K) Hilary: We'll torture you about this later,
Pumpkin. Jeffrey: Well that could have been a lot worse, don't
you think? Whew!

youryouth.wav (69K) Jeffrey: Hilary, I can't blame you for
clinging to your youth, but it's keeping him from doing his
work as an apprentice.

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